Jobie Journal: “I have finally found where I belong”

By: Erin A. – Member of Bethel #49, Crestwood —

I’ve always had some sense of individuality – kinda hard not to when you’re a freckled, redheaded, pale, ginger kid. At the ripe age of 10, I joined a group called Job’s Daughters, a mixture between a sorority and Girl Scouts. At this awkward, pudgy time in my life, introverted was practically my middle name. If someone asked me a question, they would receive no more than a nod or shake of the head, even if the question required a more verbal answer. I joined Job’s Daughters with my older sister, who had quickly found a friend – reuniting with a girl from her old  Kindergarten. During the activities, I played the role of tag-along to them, too anxious to find a friend of my own. I never initiated a conversation if I wasn’t forced to – If nobody talked to me, I would happily keep to myself.

At each meeting, as a requirement of each officer in the Bethel, every girl has to relay a short paragraph of memorized work, which sounds easy enough for the average person. But my ten-year-old self was absolutely horrified, to say the least. Memorizing the work didn’t bother me in the least, standing in front of everyone, terrified me. The Honored Queen would call my station’s name, hesitantly rising from my seat, I would reply with a shaky nod. Heart thundering in the chest, threatening to leap out and run laps around the room. I had gone over my work perfectly, many times over, yet as I stood there with the weight of the room focused on me, I fumbled with the words, desperately trying to grasp them. Although I knew the people taking part in the meeting didn’t care if I stumbled with the wording, I felt as though I let everyone down. I absolutely loathed that feeling of helplessness.  

There existed points in Job’s Daughters, which I assume also happen in other activities,  where I did not want to go to a meeting or activity, simply because I didn’t feel like it – that’s how much Job’s Daughters brought me out of a personal comfort zone. But because of the connections I made with my fellow Jobie sisters, I stuck with it. The friendships made in Jobies allows the Daughters to truly enjoy attending any event, otherwise, it is all work and no play. My friendships with the girls, allowed me to open up and actually enjoy talking to other people. The friends I made in Job’s Daughters six years ago, I still keep up with. I feel as though my Bethel family has developed into my home away from home.

I remember looking up to the Honored Queen at the time, thinking how unattainable, I could never possibly grow to that height, wear that royal cloak, and have an aura of utter royalty. Now, after years of hard work, I am the Honored Queen of my Bethel, leading with a firm hand and a soft heart. The initiates look to me for guidance and I can respond wisely with full trust in what I say. When someone new joins our Bethel, I offer the first hand in friendship. Through Job’s Daughters I found my place in the world, as an ecstatic, outgoing, and thoughtful person; I have finally found where I belong.

Editor’s Note: Since the completion of this essay – the author has since went on to hold the leadership role of Honored Queen twice, as elected on by her peers, and is about to embark on her first year of college.