Report of the Supreme Outer Guard, 2000-2001
Hello, my name is Ashley Underwood, and I am a Job-A-Holic. There is no known cure, but frankly, none is warranted. There is only this 12-Step program to help deal with being a Job-A-Holic
Find a young lady who would love Job's Daughters
Give her a petition
Have her sign the petition
Have her parents sign the Petition
Turn the Petition into the Bethel
Smile as she is Initiated
Watch with pleasure as she becomes an Officer
Look on in wonder as she becomes a Line Officer
Beam with pride as she becomes an Honored Queen
Shed a tear as she become a Past Honored Queen
Feel really old when she becomes a Majority member
Repeat the entire process as much as necessary
When I stood up before this esteemed body just 1 short year ago in order to aspire to the office of Supreme Outer Guard, my knees were really knocking. That is no longer the case. Oh, I'm just as nervous now as I was then. It's just that I only have one working knee right now, and the sound of one knee knocking is similar to that of one hand clapping. Anyway, what a year it has been. I've hooked up with a wild and crazy lady named Shirley, who also just happens to be one of the fines ladies I've ever met, and we've been off to the races ever since.
During the past year I've been at several functions across the Job's Daughters' World. I attended Judy's reception where she was honored in fine form by the great folks of Kansas. It was there that I bore witness to the effect on Susie Mentel's hair that the mad dash in the "top down" convertible had.
I attended the Board of Trustees meeting in Omaha where my luggage was switched with a look alike bag. I managed to figure this out when I opened the bag and wondered why my wife Toni had packed me so many slips . . . Usually one is enough :)
Later that month we made the now famous trek to California for Cub's Reception. Yes, you've already heard tales of the fearsome foursome of Vanessa Fowler, Susie Mentel, Bill Walker and me as we roamed the streets of San Francisco, calling each other's cell phones, having "Divine" pictures taken and just generally having a great time. What you haven't heard was how Vansousabill plotted against new kid on the block. Some of their nefarious schemes included getting this acrophobic 'fraidy-cat up in a glass elevator to the highest restaurant in town and having appetizers while overlooking the city far, far, far below. Another was running my profound rotundity up and down the hills where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars and seeing how long my patchwork knees would hold out as we walked the wharf in a manner reminiscent of the Battaan Death march. To all of this I willingly submitted, having a great time laughing and sharing time with these 3 wonderful people. As with Judy's Reception, Cub's demonstrated the love that California has for this fine gentleman, and he is just that, a gentleman in every sense of the word.
Throughout the rest of the year I attended the Illinois Grand Session where I was fortunate enough to be a judge for their Miss Illinois Job's Daughter Pageant. I also attended Wyoming's Grand Session in Douglas, where we were treated royally, and where I, who had never been there before, showed Shirley, who had been there before, how to get around town. I attended Kansas' Grand Session where I was honored to be the MC for the Miss Kansas Job's Daughter pageant, and of course I attended the Missouri Grand Session where I beamed with pride as my daughter, Kim, was Installed as Grand Bethel Honored Queen, and my wife Toni was installed as Grand Guide. In addition I have corresponded via e-mail, snail mail and telephone with Job's Daughters from all parts of the Job's Daughters' World.
I am so happy now to be associated with 3 great Job's Daughters Jurisdictions. My new-found friends in Wyoming, you guys are a great group, and to my dual jurisdictions of Missou-ree - where most of us are from, and Missou-ruh, where Marlene Frakes is from. Y0ur continued love and support inspire me to press ever forward, upward and onward.
To my family, Toni, Kim and Katie, where would I be without you. I'm glad I don't know the answer to that question, because it wouldn't be pretty. You guys are my everything and I love you with all my heart. Just a brief plug for the Grand Bethel of Missouri. While we can't do any selling here, when you all get back home from Supreme Session, go to the Missouri Job's Daughter Website at www.missouriiojd.org and get one of those great Grand Bethel Cookbooks that everyone is talking about.
To Susan Goolsby, I watch in amazement at your efficiency and marvel at your 25 years of grace under pressure. You are the best.
To the members of the Supreme Guardian Council, thank you for your confidence in me. I hope that I can fulfill your expectations. To Judy and Cub, thank you for your friendship and sage advice. To Vanessa, Bill, Susie and Dave, thank you for your friendship and guidance. To Shirley, thank you for being such a great gal. We've had too much fun already, and there's more to come. Finally, to Mother Mick, without her dream becoming a reality, my life would not be as full and as rich as it is today.
Respectfully submitted,
Ashley Underwood, Supreme Outer
Guard
Confirmed Job-A-Holic
